The stupidity of boys carries on long after they can be called dumb highschool guys

To begin with some epiphanies from the streets of toronto, the shelves of Robarts, the tables of fung and floor of my enormous closet.

-> Be careful about living next to a library shaped like a giant peacock. You will have dreams about it coming to life and shooting flaming (over priced) textbooks at you.

-> Fair trade coffee with clever names is not as delicious as it should be. It is clearly over compensating for it's mediocre taste by being morally superior.

->Don't buy coffee from Reznikoff's when you are already late for class across Queen's Park. Yes, you will need the energy boost to jay-walk effectively, but the thousands of tiny burns on your hand and the bizare array of stains on everything you are wearing will only cause others to look at you with pity and shame in their eyes.

-> Spend equal amounts of money on organization supplies as you spend on decorational supplies. This way your room will be just as clean as it is pretty. Or at least it will have the potential to be.

->Every student should be allowed to spend the same amount of money on new shoes as they did on their text books. This way I could purchase these:
http://www.shoes.com/product.asp?p=5029256%7EWomens&sc=WOMENS&variant_id=EC1016264

http://www.shoes.com/product.asp?p=5029783%7EWomens&sc=WOMENS&variant_id=EC1017601

simply for having bought physics concepts and connections.

->Beware the moderately naked guy from frosh week. His bizare exhibtionism may be a deceptive cover for a fantastically strange and wonderful person.

->When a bewildered old lady comes to your first year seminar, usher her to the nearest exist as quickly as possible. This way your actual professor wont get all confused and yell at you because they thought someone stole their class. Also, crazy old women are generally not to be trusted.

-> Attend poster sales, but keep in mind the thematic message you want your walls to give off. The ché style print of einstein saying "VIVA LA RELATIVITY" may be clever, but you may not want to see it above your bed each and every day.

->Be kind to your caf food. It tries so hard to make you feel at home. Although it may often be overcooked, overpriced and underheated, it is made with love and care. Also, don't spend your entire meal plan on jolt soda and rockstars. Being that caffeinated only makes you hungrier and further serves to depleat your resources.

->Go to China town for all your shopping needs but bring a friend. Ducking through crowded sideways, evading the live crabs and interpreting the mutterings of off the wall homeless people is best done in pairs.

-> Select your courses based on how close the bookstore you have to buy your textbook at is to your residence. If you can, pick only courses that are taught by crazy environmentalists who give you only online readings. Also, find a cheap massage place so your back doesn't start a rebellion uprising agaisnt you.

-> Lastly, study the inner workings of ceiling fans prior to moving in. You will save yourself time, energy and prevent looking very very stupid in front of all your guests.

Sam.
Studier of Religions, Fine Art History, Magical Physics, Shocking Art and French.

ps. try to enrol in a french course taught by your highschool teacher's favorite daughter. Possibly.